What Holds Us Back

I know so many beautiful creative souls, caring people, passionate healers, teachers, creators: women with a deep longing to contribute  to the world. A passion to heal, to love, to nurture, support, to create beauty from their genuine and authentic hearts. And yet we hesitate, procrastinate, talk ourselves out of taking the chances that would move our dreams closer.

And I think know what it is that holds us back.

I’m reblogging this photo from thinkbannedthoughts, who wrote today about the dream she had hidden away.

There are certain passions I’ve had, certain dreams – the ones that meant the very most to me, the ones I hold closest, that I’ve been afraid to live out loud. There are lots of reasons for this. And I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only one.

So – in an effort to reach out to anyone else who is on the path that I’m stepping off, I want to take just a moment to talk about some of MY whys. I hid these loves, these passions, these things that make me tearful happy because…

FEAR IS A LIAR.

I was afraid that they weren’t worthy things. I was afraid that if I shared them out loud I would be told that my dreams weren’t good enough for me – that I needed to reach higher, stretch further. That anything that was this easy and brought me this much joy couldn’t be the thing I did, because we’re supposed to WORK for it, struggle for it, suffer for it.

I was afraid that if I took something that brought me so much joy and turned it into a JOB, it would kill the joy and take away the deep down, soul quenching fulfillment that I got from it. I was afraid that if I tried… I might fail and that would CRUSH me. Because… If you fail at your biggest, deepest, truest dream… Well, what’s left? Just sorrow and regret and pain, right?

I’ve lived long enough to have failed at quite a few big things. I still feel some shame, but no longer hesitate to admit this. I’ve fallen down, I’ve suffered setbacks, sometimes pretty serious. But I keep getting back up. And each time, I commit to hiding a bit less of who I really am. I realize that so often I am afraid. Afraid? Of what?

Everything I have done that was worth doing has meant overcoming some resistance, some fear. And facing down that insidious liar, fear is what I need to do, now, and every day.

Recently I posted about Blog for Mental Health 2014. Since then I seem to have this heightened awareness for people ‘coming out’ with who they really are. And as I’m writing this I’m watching videos of the Grammy performances, and its the theme that ties so many of them together.

Carol King and Sara Bareilles sing “Beautiful, Brave:”

“Say what you want to say, let the words fall out, honestly I just want to see you be brave…
You’ve got to get up every morning, with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart…”

Stand up, everybody. Speak out your truth, and live who you really are.

PS: this just arrived in my in-box from 360Soul, and it’s an interesting take on the whole ‘fear’ challenge: